A Moment in Time
Life happens. And sometimes as it does, there is a moment in time where life stands still. Frozen forever in your mind. You remember where you were, what you were wearing, your response all so vividly and yet it was all such a blur. That will forever describe the moment in time for me and my family on this very day just two years ago.
Wow! It's only been two years yet in some ways it seems like an eternity! It was Monday around 5:00pm that I headed to the grocery store. I remember the relief I felt when I made it to the check out line and began to unload my groceries – I had survived the grocery store chaos on a Monday with what felt like the entire town of Victoria shopping! And then my phone rang, it would be the call that caused time to stand still and yet send it spinning out-of-control. I could write paragraphs of the details, second by second, that are etched in my brain; all the while, I'm still unsure how my groceries made it into my car and how I made it home. And yet, I can with detail recall the conversation with my daughter, the attempts to locate my husband, the call to my brother-in-law, followed by the calls for help to my dear friend and my pastor.
Time stood still in this moment and the subsequent hours. Yet, it was only a moment in time. Yes, it was a life-changing moment that had a profound impact on our entire family and much of our church family and community. However, it is not this moment that triumphs and out-shines any other. Instead, it’s all of the moments and memories that made our life together with Frank and Margaret Ann Hendrix that far out-shine any tragedy! Those precious memories and God’s goodness and blessings since have shined brighter than any shadow of death.
Ed and Carlton have 21 years of memories that I can't touch! But the 20 years I did have with them were full and rich indeed! From our first meeting in the Lubbock airport and trip to Amarillo to see Carlton perform, to my first tour of Victoria with Margaret Ann driving me though downtown and stopping at intersections with no stop signs simply so she could finish telling her story – we only had three close calls with other vehicles! Frank’s joy when he found their last shop and the fact it had a house to go with it! Margaret Ann wasn't near as excited at the time as there were no sidewalks and the street was dark; hence no trick or treaters! The shear joy they both had in finally getting to give their first grandchild a bottle (not bottle feeding was close to corporal punishment imposed on these grandparents!). I'm not sure how much, if any milk was received at this particular feeding but there are tons of pictures of them both holding the baby! The Sunday lunches at their house followed by Ed, Frank and said baby napping while Margaret Ann and I talked for hours about scripture and living a life of faith. The delicate dance of getting the ever-skillful Frank to build something with the function to withstand Hurricane Carla-level winds and yet have a pleasing aesthetic finish – I just wanted it to be pretty! The joy and excitement surrounding their five granddaughters – giving a bath, rocking them, reading to them, building their first swing set, planning their four-year old tea party, commemorating the start of school with a James Avery charm bracelet, making sure they could read and write, camping in the travel trailer, listening to their stories and more. Witnessing Frank’s cool demeanor no matter the situation and the wisdom to know when to speak and when not to – and the power behind those carefully chosen words. Experiencing the joy and the gift of compassion as Margaret Ann never met a stranger and was there for others when they needed someone most. Hearing her full laugh fill a room and hearing his full voice fill the church – one of my favorite memories and one of the things I miss the most about them both!
Obviously, I could go on and on. As in all relationships, it wasn't all laughter and sentiment – there were hard times and difficulties (though they were few). And since Ed has always told me that I have a selective memory, I allow this to be the perfect opportunity for it thrive! But it’s been easy to be filled with thoughts of happy times as even in their death, blessing upon blessing has been poured out. From the overwhelming love and support we received around the accident, to the letter that arrived days after the funeral from Frank's ICU nurse 20 years prior. The fact they were together as they took their final breath, to the family place in Hope, TX that provides a forever connection to and for the family they created. There are many more – some of which I feel belong to Ed and Carlton and are not mine to share. But one of the greatest blessings is the legacy of love they not only left behind but that which moves us forward. For if we had been trapped by that moment in time, much of us would have died as well that day.
I give thanks and I can find peace knowing that Margaret Ann is experiencing a joy and laughter that I long to know and Frank is singing in a way and a place like none other! I praise God that He has blessed us richly by the love and life of amazing people – and this far out-shines any moment in time!
So if I could offer any advice - relish those moments with loved ones whether in the past or still present with you, have a selective memory and let go of any hurts or regrets. Don't let a single moment define you or your relationships – allow it to change you for the better and allow it to let the love take over and the blessings to take hold. My hope and prayer is that you may celebrate the life and the goodness that is poured out for us all! Frank and Margaret Ann sure did!
